Ladies of Assumption By Jo Russell

“Our Lady of Assumption” the church van read. When I saw it, the first thing I thought was, “What are they assuming? When I looked up “assumption,” I just blew off the first couple of common religious definitions, to see if assumption meant I was taking something for granted. Sure enough.

We women and mothers are all ladies of assumption. We are like optimists who are born with the “best case scenario” carved into our hearts.
We assume when we have sweated over a color-coordinated nursery that would “wow” even the HGTV staff, our newborn(s) won’t make a mess on the walls, floor, crib or curtains.

We assume when we give our toddlers their first allowances, they will deposit the coins in the piggy bank like we showed them instead of cascading coins into the mattresses, coats, and pillowcases, leaving us to find them a few at a time for years afterward. Eventually, kids understand the bank idea. Sometimes they spell it M-O-M and D-A-D or M-O-T-H-E-R.

When our kids are older, we assume that they will learn to like whatever they can’t stand. When four, one of my sons quipped, “When I am five, I will learn to like onions. When I am fifteen, I will learn to like girls.” (Well, one out of two isn’t bad.)

We assume that when we buy two weeks worth of groceries for the family, the food will last fourteen days without being locked up in an armored car.

We also assume that when we fill the lawn mower with gas, change the spark plug, show our offspring how to prime it, and pull the start cord, then park it in the middle of a six-inch lawn waving like America’s wheat, we will return hours later to the smell and look of fresh-cut grass.

We assume that road trips will go flawlessly without getting lost, with no one getting carsick or losing one shoe, without even one flat tire.

Along the same line, we optimists believe that all prayers will be answered “Yes,” and we will never run out of toilet paper before payday. With God’s steady hand in our lives, we can continue to believe in the “best case scenario.” God’s answers are not always “yes,” but also “no” and “wait.”

Have you claimed him as your guide today?

[Jo Russell is a Christian teacher, speaker, author of many articles, contributor to several anthologies, and Which Button Do You Push to Get God to Come Out? A Humorous Devotional for Women, Intermedia Publishing, 2011. For more chuckles, keep checking  her weekly blog on Button-to-God.com.]
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